Checking in and asking for support
Asking for support or checking in doesn't have to be awkward or dramatic. The easiest way is to agree on how you'll do it before anyone needs it.
What is the best way to ask for support, or to check in with someone?
Simple answer
Agree on simple words in advance, so reaching out feels easy when it matters most.
Deeper understanding
Name your safe people
While you're feeling calm and well, identify the people who respond to you with compassion and care.
Agree on your words in advance
Let each of them know what you'll say when you need support and how you'd like them to respond. Jenny's friends use: "I didn't make my bed today," which means "please remind me I'm loved," with no need to explain or fix anything.
Check in without pressure
Try "I'm checking in," "I've noticed a shift in your energy," or "Is there anything you'd like to talk about?" If the answer is no, respect it. The point is for them to feel seen and loved.
The "My Safe People" emoji tip
- When you're feeling calm, choose the people who feel like a safe space for you.
- Pick an emoji that represents safety to you.
- Add it to each of their names in your phone contacts.
On a hard day, just search for your emoji and your safe people are right there.
Gentle swaps
| Instead of | Try |
|---|---|
| What's wrong with you? | I'm checking in. |
| Why aren't you any fun lately? | I've noticed a shift in your energy. I'm here. |
| Cheer up! | Want to grab a coffee or go for a walk? |
If you or someone you know is thinking about suicide, call or text 988 (US) or text HOME to 741741. If someone is in immediate danger, call 911. More resources
This resource is educational and not a substitute for medical or mental health care. © Thrive Education · jennythrasher.com